Ok, as a response to this afternoon's request for some T S Eliot. Sorry Macavity, you mystery cat, for defaming you.
Berlusconi, the Eurocrat.
Berlusconi is a Eurocrat: he's worse than Jacques Delors.
For he's the country leader who can defy the Law.
He's the bafflement of Europe, a democrats despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime-- Berlusconi is not there!
Berlusconi , Berlusconi , there's none like Berlusconi
He's broken economic law, no chance of that austerity.
His powers of interpretation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime--Berlusconi is not there!
You may seek him in the Senate, you may look up in the air--
But I tell you once and once again, Berlusconi is not there!
Berlusconi is a Eurocrat, he's very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his banks are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly doomed;
His budget dusty from neglect, his accounts, they are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And though you think he's trustable, he's always on the take.
Berlusconi, Berlusconi, there's no one like Berlusconi
For he's a fiend in human shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him at a summit, you may think his budget square--
But when the crime's discovered, then Berlusconi is not there!
He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
His country debt's in trillions (not as we thought in yards).
And when the coffer's looted, or the treasury is rifled,
Or when the assets missing, or another bung been stifled,
Or his country's back is broken, deficit is past repair--
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Berlusconi is not there!
And when those folk in Brussels find a Treaty's gone astray,
And the ECB buys BTPs to help him on his way,
The promises he's made to them have vanished into air--
But it's useless to investigate--Berlusconi is not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Germans they will say:
"It must have been Berlusconi !"--but he's a mile away.
You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of girls thumbs,
Or engaged in doing dirty things with young lady's bums.
Berlusconi, Berlusconi, there's none like Berlusconi,
Never was a Eurocrat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, or one or two to spare:
And whatever time the deed took place--BERLUSCONI WASN'T THERE!
And they say that of the Eurocrats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Papandreou and his massive unpaid loan..)
Are nothing more than agents for the Eurocrat they let
Control the southern nations, the Napoleon of debt !
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