It's a busy day today leaving Team Macro Man little time to ask themselves some of the more pressing topical questions. these particularly come to mind...
1. Is it true that one of these is any whippier than the other?
(b) A UK Zoo.
(c) Lindi St Clair.
(d) An ice cream van.
(e) A day out with Mr Market over the past 2 days.
2. Is it true that Bill Gross has started buying bonds for the biggest bond fund in the world which was crowing about owning no bonds because:
(a) He has miraculously changed his mind and decided to fund the death spiral debt mountain he has so often blamed for the end of the known universe.
(b) Of some really clever bullshit relative value trade excuse "no I wasn't really short because I was actually hedged through a hedge I bought in a garden centre".
(c) Even the greatest bond manager in the world can only take so much red hot iron inserted posteriorly before he screams for his mother.
3. Is it true that the Chinese reserves of 3 trillion dollars would:
(a) Stretch 3 times around the planet.
(b) Take 48 years to withdraw from a ATM in $500 tranches.
(c) Weigh the same in $1 bills as the total number of potatoes processed last year in Belgium?
4. Is it true that the ratings agencies are:
(a) To be religiously followed no matter what your benchmark.
(b) Run by North Korea.
(c) Suffering a death wish.
5. Is it true that leaving your towels on a bathroom floor in a hotel:
(a) Saves you picking them up.
(b) Destroys the planet as it is a sign that you want them washed which, as the hotel points out to you on small cards, will lead to the end of the human race and it will be YOUR fault.
(c) Costs the hotel an extra $1.50 in washing which they'd rather save on the pretext of promoting peace throughout the solar system.
6. Is it true that running a marathon:
(a) Is environmentally friendly as it is natural and emits less pollutants that doing it in a Aston Martin DB9.
(b) Is jolly good as less animals die during it than in the Grand National.
(c) Emits more CO2 from the lungs of the runners than if each one had stayed on the sofa eating chips and watching TV for the duration.
7. Is it true that the latest stretch of hot weather in the UK will prove once and for all that:
(a) Global Warming is a reality.
(b) The media is obsessed with any event which deviates more than a nano-standard deviation from an average of their choice.
(c) Good-looking girls are solar powered.
8. Is it true that whenever June and the end of QE are mentioned:
(a) The equity market calls for more QE morphine.
(b) The bond market calls for more QE morphine.
(c) Fed don't care as there is no July in their calendar.
9. Is it true that the Asian Central banks:
(a) Hire out seats on their FX dealing desks at fairgrounds and hand out stuffed toys to anyone who can hose more than 15 western banks in 1 minute.
(b) Get through a lot of stuffed toys.
(c) Prefer doing it on the way home after a good night out.
(d) Use USDs as biofuel.
10. Is it true that the Vampire Squid:
(a) Really made that much.
(b) Are going to be allowed to keep it.
(c) Are really going to lay people off if revenues don't grow.
(d) Have obviously acquired all of the QE money.
11. Is it true that making the Soothsayer signals on Bloomberg "subscription only" will lead to:
(a) The Soothsayer becoming very rich.
(b) Cloned "similar" systems being developed and used for free.
(c) No one caring as "Hell, they didn't really work anyway and its a good excuse to stop looking at them".
(d) The development of a new and as yet undiscovered fashion in technical analysis.
12. Is it true that the next fashion in technical analysis will:
(a) Not have a sillier set of patterns than the cups, saucers and other table crockery some use.
(b) Be as self fulfilling as the past ones once enough people follow it.
(c) Be wheeled out, as a tea trolley is, when everything else is quiet.
13. Is it true that Basel III is a really good way to make sure that:
(a) A banking crisis never happens again.
(b) It becomes an incontrovertible proof that banks' structuring departments are still smarter than the regulators.
(c) Next time there is a systemic problem in the US, Eurobanks are going to drop their i-banking subs like a bad habit and leave their counterparties with the bill.
(d) there will be at least one buyer for all the Western Nations sovereign debt.
14. Is it true that Gordon Brown:
(a) Sold the UK's Gold at $255.
(b) Oversaw the run up to the biggest financial crash in the UK.
(c) Blew the UK debt to 58% of GDP.
(d) Is seriously being considered for the post of chairman of the IMF? (you can express your own opinion on that HERE).
(e) Has been sponsored by Al Qaeda to stand for the post.
15. Is it true that ex-Australian Treasurer Peter Costello:
(a) Sold gold at about $330.
(b) Turned down the job of heading the World Gold Council.
(c) Is Gordon Brown's brother.
16. Is it true that the USD is:
(a) The monetary unit of the USA.
(c) Worth less than a Greek promise?
17. Is it true that if you are a large hedge fund you can:
(a) Push the market around at a whim in the style of an asian central bank.
(b) Pick your global domicile to fit your personal tax requirements.
(c) Expect to be a pretty small one if the markets don’t get any easier.
18. Is it true that the date 19th April 2011 (yesterday) was:
(a) 13/4/7DB in hexadecimal.
(b) The day that the Machines in Terminator became "aware" as Skynet went active, in preparation for its attack against humanity tomorrow.
(c) Together with (b), why the algos trashed USDs and sent Tech Equities higher this morning.
19. Is it true that when more and more Chinese property developers come to market that:
(a) Liquidity is getting really tight onshore.
(b) This demonstrates the idiot demand for anything in Chinese Yuan.
(c) Once again when things get really bad the onshore guys will get bailed out and a bunch of high yield managers will lose 40%+ and give you a WHOCUDAKNOWN?
(d) Anyone who think the PBOC has any real control over liquidity needs their head checked.
20. Is it true that Team Macro Man:
(a) Prefer McDonald's Egg and Sausage McMuffins over the Egg and Bacon McMuffins as early morning alcohol sponges (but not from here),
(b) Really wish they hadn't come in to work today.
(c) Really wish they never had the need to work.
(d) Will be taking the rest of Easter off and look forward to being back next week.
Team Macro Man wish you a Happy Easter.
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