Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Bill the Banker

The next couple of days are expected to see mass demonstrations in London. Protesters are planning to descend upon the City (tomorrow) and the G20 meetings (Thursday), marching against everything from bank bailouts to globalization to climate change. There is an undercurrent of tension, however, as some groups are threatening violence, a development which would be unfortunate but hardly unprecedented. Today features a riposte-in-advance from "Bill the Banker", presenting his side of the argument. Readers jonesing for a dose of Macro Man's own particular brand of literary styling should check out the newly-minted FAQs. Take it away, Bill....

First of all, let me say that I understand that people are angry, and that I understand why people are angry. The idea that the finance industry reaps virtually all the rewards during the good times but socializes the risks in the downturns is not one that sits well with the public, for obvious reasons. I also support the democratic right to freedom of assembly, which was used to such effect by leaders such as Gandhi and King.

However, what people need to understand is that most of us in the City are angry, too. Contrary to the caricature of "greedy bankers" who play roulette with the public's wealth and pensions, most of us are honest, hard-working, and do the best job that we can. And probably to a greater degree than the public, many of us have seen our life savings evaporate during this crisis, through no specific fault of our own. Does anyone think that we're happy about that? Does anyone think that we regard Fred Goodwin, Dick Fuld, and the like as anything but villains?

Most of us had no control over the decisions that led to this debacle. And yet here we are, with bills to pay and an evaporated nest egg. Oh, and a salary that hasn't changed in a dozen years. I reckon that I made around £35 per hour last year, working 70 hour weeks. That's little better than a skilled tradesman's wage...except I pay more tax, get less sleep, and have no tea breaks.

So you'll have to excuse me if I get angry when some unwashed layabout who's never seen the sun rise starts moaning about the government bailing out the banks with "our" money and threatening to "bash" or "burn" a banker. "Our" money? Oh really? How much tax have these protesters paid over the years, and how much will they pay in the coming years? A damn sight less than the City, is my guess. What's the tax rate on the dole again?

OK, OK, I know that a lot of protesters will actually be people who hold jobs and pay taxes. But you don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to see that there is a cadre of professional moaners and rabble-rousers who are looking to stir up trouble. You know, the "property is theft" crowd who figure that since they can't be arsed to do any work, anyone who does must have something wrong with them.

And then there's the eco-nazis who blame all of the world's ills on climate change. Well, here's a little newsflash for them. The financial crisis has nothing to do with climate change. And here's another: the climate has been changing for hundreds of millions of years. To expect the earth's climate to remain forever constant is an act of breath-taking stupidity.

Has modern industrial society had an impact on the earth's temperature? Almost certainly. But during that period, human health and life expectancy have risen dramatically, thanks to the advances brought about by modern industrial society and globalization. Where are the protests against that? Why, too, do the eco-freaks campaign against genetically-modified foods, which can enhance crop yields and reduce starvation?

Perhaps they just like a good moan, regardless of the rationale. Whatever. That's their prerogative. As I said above, the freedom to take to the streets for a moan is a democratic right. But the destruction of property and pogroms against a specific sector of the economy cross the line of what is acceptable. I hope that the marches are peaceful and that the protesters enjoy themselves. But the soap-dodgers should be warned: if they're looking for trouble, they just might find it.


Adrem said...

Well, well, political Macro Man emerges from the closet. Good stuff. Eminently sane and sensible - but then we knew that already.

Anonymous said...

Just stop: yes bankers have lost plenty of money too but the 35 pounds an hour comment does somewhat neglect that the 3-5 years before that might have been 5-10 times that depending on bonus.
Just like the government, those who claim poverty have done a great job of increasing spending and not saving in an upturn and now pleading poverty in a downturn.
You would criticise others and pass the buck onto the CEOs, but no one stopped to question how people really justified the scale of pay to some pretty average people employed at just about every bank in the world.
It's not just the super talented and successful people who get paid, everyone got paid in part because the environment created by free and easy money lent itself to the gravy train of carry and liquidity.
Anyone employed by finance who wants to play the hard done by act about how little they got paid this year needs to just shut up quickly. You're not an innocent bystander despite the "no fault of your own comment".
That said of course, the overwhelming public reaction of the unwashed masses is not justified either. They don't understand that the bankers are largely as badly impacted as anyone and the fall from a higher mountain is further and more painful. But after that fall they're still way above the average, and then write things like this.
Sadly of course there are plenty of people coming to London as an excuse to start trouble and there is no excuse for this.

Anonymous said...

A very disappointing post!
I thought you were broad-minded and rather free of clich├ęs, at least up till today.

Anonymous said...

sounds like your moaning MM...

Matt Busigin said...

Well said.

I've found that most of the people found ranting about greedy bankers are overly leveraged, dependent on ever rising housing prices to facilitate living beyond their means, and ignoring the risk of diminished earnings from a contracting economy ..

If it were just the evil bankers doing this, we'd still be living in a world where no-one outside of the finance community knows the term CDO.

Anonymous said...

yeah fuck the protesters, while you sit on your ass looking at the world swirl down the toilet bowl. Gee, how productivity has grown with the advent of the computer and blogs and daytrading. Just imagine how productivity have skyrocketed now with over half the population either in front of the computer or the TV.

Hurray for the protesters, and the like. You really think the leechfucks are out there protesting for a better world? Look again. They may not look like your cup of tea, but they are doing the dirty work you obviously refuse to do.

Don't get your fingernails dirty typing on that keyboard.

Anonymous said...

Are we really supposed to have sympathy for someone who by my calculations has by his own admission earnt circa £ 127,000 per annum for the last dozen years ? I see he fails to mention any bonuses in that calculation which may or may not have been earnt. To compare his earnings to a skilled tradesman is laughable. I bet skilled tradesman don't get a mortgage subsidy, private health care, pension contributions, 30 days of paid holiday a year and the piece of mind that they still get paid when they are off sick either.

Anonymous said...

Someone or somthing must really enjoy the state of the world today.
We finally hate each other, globally.

Anonymous said...

here's what's in store for tomorrow


EJ said...

MM - looks like a few of the soap-dodgers have got wind of your blog. Some pretty harsh comments posted under the courageous banner of anonymity - truly laughable. I hope the rozzers bring a water cannon to Threadneedle St tomorrow - the mere threat of a shower should be enough to drive the protestors back to their parents homes in Surrey.


vlade said...

I want to have a good moan! Say, Frank Lampard, "working" for Chelsea (which never in its history under Mr. Abramovich made any money) gets cool GBP130k a WEEK. That's even cooler 773GBP per hour 24/7 (not that I expect him to do whatever he does 24/7).

How come no-one's complaining about his blown out salary? It's not bonus, it's base salary.

True, Mr. Brown didn't have to bail out Abramovich (yet) but still, when we're talking about overblown salaries and the (at least possible) contribution to the economy, I don't see how Chelsea etc. can really justify these levels on any economic grounds (as opposed to trophy hunting. Trophy wifes are so 90s, every puny millionare can afford a few, but every self-respecting oligarch just must have a trophy sports club).

BDA_GUY said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BDA_GUY said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BDA_GUY said...


Unfortunately, when your income is significantly above the average wage, you may be envied but you'll never be granted any sympathy.

The fact that the top 5% in income earners pay about 50% of all income tax is something that most people don't understand. Even if understood, the average guy will not stand up for those they consider "privaleged" to have such a good income.

It's not until a person actually earns these levels will you garner much sympathy.

t said...

If you are so angry, MM, why not join the protests rather than moan about the protesters. Take your case to the 'great unwashed' rather than troll out class-ridden cliches. Most protesters will be more like you than you think. It's only a class war if you make it so.

The divided are conquered.

Andy S said...

It's a shame your as happy to paint the protestors with the same stereotypical brush that you object to so much yourself.

This sort of drivel doesn't really get us very far, on either side.

Anonymous said...

MM, what you didn't mention was how much GB and other world leaders have encouraged this general hatred. I don't hear enough criticism of regulators and government spending, far easier to whip up envy and grandstand about 'moral values' in St. Paul's.


Anonymous said...

Agree on some of this... bankers bashing is ridiculous and the ones who are to be blamed have run away with the millions a long time ago. Not sure where you re going on climat change though. The fact human developement has outweighed the negative impact we had on the environment is not that obvious. I am not en ecolo enthusiast but dont see why the question of sustainable development should not be discussed.

Diego said...

Macro Man,

are you sure this crisis has no environmental reasons?

Let's see: the US didn't have a 3pc superavit during the boom years, but a 6pc deficit, which constrains fiscal policy now. I am pretty much sure that 9pc GDP fiscal weapon would have made a big difference, don't you?

And why? Because of a war to control oil supply, as Greenspan said.

You can surely put forward other environmental reasons, with emerging Asian demand for commodities, structural problems in the US industry and especifically the US car industry (cheap energy), etc.

All this is unrelated to global warming, but very related to sustainable development, which underlies concerns on global warming.

And lastly, nobody knows which effects eating GM food may have in the long run (over decades), so it is irresponsible to pollute the world with GM crops we don't know how to completely eliminate if necessary, much as spreading toxic debt around the world was. You want to reduce starvation? Prevent overpopulation.

As in finance, so in every other industry, American short-termism is readable in your blog.

Anonymous said...

some readers should look up the definition of satire.

Charles said...

As anon mentioned, a disappointing post. I will be more charitable and will put this on the crappy month of March you had. This is however what I would have wanted to read from Macro Man :

"First of all, let me say that I understand that people are angry, and that I understand why people are angry. They think that bankers gamed the system and flouted the rules, and made big money in the process.

The reality is that the system didn't crash because bankers didn't play by the rules. It is true that few bankers didn't : they will be prosecuted and condemned. However, this is a red herring.
The real problem was that the rules for operating the economy were awfully bad. Lots of us tried to restore sanity in our nation's finance by promoting more prudent management. It didn't stick. We were steamrolled by politicians that didn't want to hear they were on an unsustainable course and that consistently put aside any officials or scholar that would not sustain their madness. These representatives that made the rules were elected by YOU. Look at yourself in a mirror. Power of the People comes with accountability of the People.

Did we owe to the community to refrain ourselves of participating in a rotten game ? Have we benefited unduly from our insight ? To answer this. let me use the Titanic metaphor : I try as much as I can to warn the captain that he is going to hit an iceberg and he doesn't want to listen to me. Once it is clear that the iceberg is going to be hit anyway, should I just stay put ? No, of course ! I position my family and myself close to the lifeboats because I know that, beyond the first class passengers, there are not many places available. Wouldn't you do the same ?

Cortex said...

Like MM I find it totally understandable that people are angry. The are very few winners in this debacle and I would dare to guess that even some of the banking bosses that made off with wads of cash would raturn it if that would unwind this mess. What we see now is a nonsensical frenzy to allocate guilt. With mobs looking for individuals to hurt, physically in retribution for economic hardships -- do you hear any bells ringing?

We would still be in the same mess even if we were to get all the bonuses and all the over-the-top benefits back.

So what is the point in random violence against anyone wearing a suit coupled with the destruction of property all over London City? Is it to show everyone that there is anger out there? That people are fed up? My guess is that even the most senile leaders know that allready. How about tring to solve things instead of making things worse? This week several people will get hurt. To what purpose? Only cowards group up to use violence against innocents. The placards are just camouflage.

Anonymous said...

Politics and religion........seems you've awoken a lot of readers, it appears that some others have trouble accepting opinions that don't conform with their own.
I enjoyed you're point of view.
Keep up the great work.

Purile Behaviour said...

I'm personally looking forward to some proper head cracking. Most people in finance are level headed individuals who want to avoid confrontation. But there is a hard core of nutty traders who are itching for a fight with the crusties.

Remember that IPE vs Greenpeace ruck a few years back? 1-0 to the City. Sadly IPE moved on from open outcry but there must be some other nutters about. This time the real anarchists are on board for the hippies so it's a fair fight.

I know this is childish but I still find it hilarious.

Corey said...

Isn't this "Bill the Bankers" point of view? I'm just taking a complete stab in the dark here ;), but isn't MM conveying the sentiments of "one-side" of the story? I don't think these are necessarily his own viewpoints, just those that MM has gathered in real world conversations...

Mannwich said...

I don't even know where to begin here, so I won't even start. Good grief. Get a clue.

Anonymous said...

Most of the protesters would in all likelihood demonstrate against just about anything their masters put them up to, without much (or any) thought. They also tend to be against all manner of things and not for much of anything.

So, globalisation is bad? What's the alternative, a beggar-thy-neighbor trade war? Where does this end, do we stop trading with our own countrymen, e.g. each of us makes his own shoes etc.?

So global warming requires action? Do any of these people want to go back to living like the Amish? Yes? Then how many billions need to die off for that lifestyle to be possible for the survivors? No? What then? Didn't we see much the same crowd protesting against nuclear power? Is it really possible to power our entire civilisation off of windmills and solar panels?

Don't like the fact that some people earn more money than others? What's the answer, Marxism? Won't that remove the incentive to spend years in school acquiring the necessary skills, or to work hard on the job, or to save anything for the future? Won't that require central planning for all investment and decision-making by political rather than market processes? Is that really going to produce a better result? For example, the USA's misbegotten ethanol programme is an example of such.

I could go on and on but the point's the same - these lot are always long on noisy complaints but short on practical solutions.

vandalsstolemyhandle said...

Kill Bill.

vandalstolemyhandle said...

More seriously, I'm quite relaxed about banker-bashing. Most of us are disproportionately rewarded, and benefited from the easy money boom. If the worst that now happens is a bit of public opprobrium, so what.
(of course, everyone thinks that they individually didn;t benefit from the rising tide lifting all boats, and got where they are through the sweat of their brow blah blah blah, but in aggregate, this clearly isn't true)

Venting at the banker class is a neccesary part of maintaining the social compact. People are taking big hits to bail out the banks; I think the bankerati should just bear the flaggelation with good grace.

Anonymous said...

I agree bankers' are to blame but I also agree masses and politicians are to blame. Reason is GREED. Bankers were simply pandering to this basic instinct. Since we know how and why bankers got us into this mess, i will focus on politicians and masses.

Unfortunately, no politician will want economic crisis to happen on his watch. Therefore, s/he wants prosperity by any means as to claim all the credit. Did any politician come out and say: hey increase the deposit to morgage ratio. One proposed law to outlaw predatory mortage lending got buried in Congress, without ever seeing daylight. This says a lot. What they hate is to acknolwedge their mistakes. Therefore, I am not surprised that politicians encouraged all that enabled average or even less than average Joe to buy a house. When bubble burst, of course it was banker's fault, not politicians'.

How about people? Did they protest or moan when their house prices were going up? I just can't recall. Just to make things clear: i do not have a house bc I can not afford to yet.

Bubbles take place precisely because we are human and because we are greedy. But as Alan Woods said: "blame someone else and get on with your life."

Hey, bankers where are you bastards? It is all your fault

Anonymous said...

Agreeing with Corey and standing up for MM. In no way, shape or form are these expressed as his personal views (will the real MM please stand up) but are a counterpoint to the argument that all bankers are the scum of the earth and got everything they deserved that so many people are happy to brandish about.

Does seem that today's post has hit a rather raw nerve though...


Anonymous said...

"Most of us had no control over the decisions that led to this debacle."

Not true. This line of thinking reeks of Nuremberg. To start, you could have told your superiors that you disagree with the direction they are taking. You could have told them they they will destroy the reputation of the firm, the reputation of the industry, and the reputation of the country. If they refuse to listen, you can resign and let your reasons be known. You can go to the press with details of your story. The truth is there are a number of choices and options, yet the choice the majority of bankers made was easiest and the one most expedient--keep quiet and collect the paycheck. I'm sure Bill the banker believes in personal responsibility and rather than saying he was just a tiny cog in a big machine, he should look in the mirror and see that he had a part to play and played it wrong. The pursuit of wealth does not mean the disposal of one's own moral compass.

Anonymous said...

Oh, the hippies are protesting GM crops and climate change again?

Anonymous said...

Highly disppointing MM.... This single post has undone a LOT of the respect you had earned from me over the last two and a half years... shameful indeed.

ajh said...

Bill the Banker doesn't seem up to MM's level of logic or clarity. There are many reasons to resist attempts to cast generalized blame onto any group of people, but Bill the Banker's whinging arguments and ad hominem counterattacks are more likely to increase hostility than evoke sympathy.

freude bud said...

from Emerson's Self Reliance

"For nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure. And therefore a man must know how to estimate a sour face. The by-standers look askance on him in the public street or in the friend's parlour. If this aversation had its origin in contempt and resistance like his own, he might well go home with a sad countenance; but the sour faces of the multitude, like their sweet faces, have no deep cause, but are put on and off as the wind blows and a newspaper directs. Yet is the discontent of the multitude more formidable than that of the senate and the college. It is easy enough for a firm man who knows the world to brook the rage of the cultivated classes. Their rage is decorous and prudent, for they are timid as being very vulnerable themselves. But when to their feminine rage the indignation of the people is added, when the ignorant and the poor are aroused, when the unintelligent brute force that lies at the bottom of society is made to growl and mow, it needs the habit of magnanimity and religion to treat it godlike as a trifle of no concernment."

TG said...

Looking forward to the protest against all the UK residents who spent more than they earned, taking household savings rates to negative figures for the first time since the late 1950s, over-borrowed to buy homes they couldn't afford, and then skipped out on the payments, thereby playing their own part in breaking the domestic economy.

Is that happening tomorrow, too?

After reading some of these comments, I'm much more inclined to dress up than dress down for work tomorrow, hoping that the "anarchists" collective lack of logic and reason manifests itself in an opportunity for me to "protest" the error of their ways.

Anonymous said...

why can't we all just get along?

agree with TG ... the strange thing is that we all know that finance apart from providing capital to worthy businesses (i say that almost in gest) is for the most part about re-distribution of wealth between people, classes and generations. no sympathy for anyone on my part. esecially those in the 'game'.

Anonymous said...

Bill you must be kidding ...
You earn something around 5 times what a normal guy gets (not including bonuses which are the bulk of your income) . Why? Are you contributing 5 times more to the social welfare of the society? To my mind the contribution of the investment banker is absolutely nil. Your remuneration is a social convention in an exclusive money culture: that the investment banker may reap a lot because he can extract a lot (for his clients) due to his special position at the center of the money flows. This is ETHICALLY outrageous for the people, and they are right.

You deserve however a good and fair remuneration for your excellent blog.

pete23 said...

two interesting things for me:

1. the level of hostility towards poor "bill". come on, lads - let's see you out tomorrow! the poll tax riots were the high point of 90s political history, and i don't believe that the current crop of slackers have it in them to replicate.

2. the number of quality people i know who completely ignored the italics and assumed this was entirely your post.

and in other news, our "smart casual" has been downgraded to include jeans - and then upgraded to BAU again. if the protestors aren't better organised than my bank, i'll be shocked.

Anonymous said...

"Not true. This line of thinking reeks of Nuremberg. To start, you could have told your superiors that you disagree with the direction they are taking. You could have told them they they will destroy the reputation of the firm, the reputation of the industry, and the reputation of the country."

Complete BS. As "Bill" tries to state, most people in the industry had no involvement with securitzation or any of the other practices that exacerbated this mess. Is some low level employee on the currency trading desk (who doesn't have a clue about the workings of other areas of his or her firm) supposed to march into the CEO's office and tell the CEO he is ruining the firm/industry/country? Whoever left this comment has about the same lack of intelligence (and logic) as most of the "protesters."

Tales of a Starbucks Addict said...

Where were these people in 2007? I guess they had jobs and were making money and had no reason to protest. My point been that they seem very fickle.

Also for a 'popular movement' where is the political party that represents them?

There isnt because there are not that many facts that support there 'arguement', which I dont think they understand themselves.

At the end of the day the population at large all need to take responsibility, the people who couldnt afford to take out loans, and the people who made them are at fault.

The four horsemen should protest outside a council estate if they are serious about protesting at the causes of this crisis.

FuelMix said...

That's the best you could come up with MM? What garbage. Don't bash us we're the honest bankers who also took a hit? Where were the securitization whistleblowers in the City and on Wall Street when the leveraging was going out of hand and the alphabet soup of derivatives were being stacked in SIVs offshore? Nowhere to be seen. They were raking it in, happy to turn a blind eye to the shenanigans, so long as the bonuses kept coming. It was an open secret in securitization that the big 3 credit rating agencies has been pressured by the City and Wall Street to certify the crap as AAA - otherwise they'd lose the business.

Yeah it was a minority of dudes making outrageous deals with fat commissions. That's the Pareto Principle.

The City made it clear to the Government that an unregulated derivatives market would necessarily create innovation and the bankers would act in enlightened self-interest. Well they got the self-interest bit right.

Read up on some history MM. Get hold of "Grunch Of Giants" by R. Buckminster Fuller. "Grunch" is an acronym for Great Universal Cash Heist.

Fuller had the bankers down cold and the book is more true now than it ever was.

No sympathy here, buddy.

Anonymous said...

"But the soap-dodgers should be warned: if they're looking for trouble, they just might find it."

Oh man, apparently Macro Man doesnt get it..but Karl Denninger does. There is REAL, tangible anger out there. This isn't some cutesy schoolyard fight. This is beyond the norm. While Jon Stewart says that liberals express their anger by emailing in CAPS (WTF!!!). The jobless, homeless, and stolen from (most non brainwashed Obamabot taxpayers, Get IT.

Moreover, the Brits seem to Get IT better than Americans who are sheeple watching American Idle.

Here is a link Karl Denninger found. Be certain, that once the Rubicon is crossed in this regard, there will be no turning back.

And you know what? Since Congress is so feeble and espouses and utterly bankrupt moral culture, maybe a good ol' beating is called for. After all, the best lessons are generally learned after a good a$$ kicking:**


DEAR Wall Street,

What a bunch of whiny f**king babies. John Galt would be puking blood for 200-pages over this load of sh**, you bunch of sobbing welfare queens. You f**ked up. You ruined everything. You broke it, and we f**king bought it, because big baby was too big baby to fail.

We get it all ways from you motherf**kers. You're robbing us of our present and future now, but first you stepped on our throats on your way to the top. You raked in the money with a bunch of made up fantasyland bullsh** that wouldn't fool a counting horse on America's Funniest Home Videos, but somehow suckered in every major bank in the world.

Credit default swaps.

Those things are so f**king dumb that when you explain them to somebody and they laugh about how dumb they are you've got to act like ooooh they're so magical and complicated. Far too complex for the plebes to get. No! Wrong! Go into OTB and put fifty dollars on Rambo's Beautiful Blood. You just bought a credit default swap. Whoaaa you're blowing my simple pea brain with your fancy Wall Street talkin'. You sadsack ****ers.

So everybody bought into your big scheme, even when they didn't know they were playing, and now the whole thing has come crashing down because too many people won the f**king unbelievably obvious bet that a million illegal immigrants were going to default on million dollar home loans. Suddenly all your stupid fake money is gone, but if it's gone the whole system of bullsh** lies collapses and you look like d**kheads. So whoopty-doo, now we gotta make the fake money turn real or else the house of sh**ty c**t cards comes crashing down, only there isn't enough real money to cover all the fake money, so we're making more real money.

Then there's A.I.G., the bad seed, the carbuncle on our anus, the weeping wound in our tit, the sorry source of all our misery and woe. This is the monster garage full of miscreants that dreamed up the fire-breathing nitro-gulping predicament we're in right f**king now. Their financial products division created the derivatives market from lies and their executives raked in billions in bonuses and easy money. While they were peddling bad bets, median wages in the US stagnated and poor working schmucks leaned increasingly on credit to get by. Prices on everything were going up, but credit was easy to come by what with all that bullsh** money to throw around. And then the good days ended, for the poor sh**head in the middle class anyway. While you a**holes on Wall Street were lining up for your first round at the government trough, the poor f**kers that had been using credit cards to maintain their standard of living from the 1990s were beginning to lose everything. Their houses, cars, health care, and even their jobs were disappearing. F**kers at Merrill-Lynch, A.I.G., Citi Group, Bank of America, and on, and on, and f**king on were taking huge bonuses or executive compensation packages. They were "retiring" to third world countries where their fortunes would set them up like kings.

And listen up motherf**kers, because we f**king paid for it. Us. The f**king taxpaying public. The dudes you have been grinding beneath your heels since you first read Ayn Rand and sociopathed your way through econ 101. We're your paymasters now, f**kers. And yeah, your tools in the government and in the press are between you and us for now, but we've got one trick up our sleeve. One and only recourse while you're raping us for our last f**king dollars.

We can get ****ed. We can let the hate take over and form a f**king mob. When you take home bonuses from our money, when you get our bailouts and have your lobster luncheons or your strippers and coke parties at the Mirage, we'll be there with our torches and our f**king pitchforks. And just because you got your little crybaby letter in the New York Times, just because "the media narrative" is turning back in your favor, doesn't mean we have forgotten. We're ****ed and we know what you did.

Jake DeSantis, you f**king narcissist, don't give me that bullsh** self-pitying resignation letter. Don't tell me you weren't the dick that has been f**king this country, just the hand on its throat. Don't make me laugh with your charity donation lesson in life. Let me give you a life lesson. We'll go through the Red Cross and the March of Dimes to get to you. We'll leave Jerry's Kids mewling and thrashing in the gutters and overturn the Salvation Army Kettle to get our f**king money back.

You're all scum. Villains. And before this is through blood will be shed. Human blood that doesn't come out of a gigantic f**king vagina like yours, DeSantis. It's not a threat, it's a promise you're making to us.

"Come get us," you're sneering.

"I hope you like to eat turds from a human butt," we're sneering right back.

Your offices will be lit from within by the fires of a thousand burning evil motherf**kers and their evil personal assistants. There will be chaos. Triple chaos. Saigon all over again. They'll be pushing G5s off the deck of an aircraft carrier to make room for the next private jet escaping New York. We'll string the filth of the NYSE from lamp posts and Rick Santelli's empty sockets will look out on the streets, choked with useless paper and cars torched for insurance money.

The orgy of our outrage will be legendary. We'll cut off hands and feet and gouge out tender parts. We'll feed chopped up guts to dogs and rotting carcasses can fertilize urban gardens. Remember that tree they put Conan on? No, that's not for you, that's for your wives! You should be so lucky!

The last of you, the scarred remnants of your horrible tribe, can read this to a congressional hearing, your voices quivering with indignation while pale fists hammer on the glass and cry to see your blood spill out in a red gush across the steps of the Capitol.

You motherf**kers had better be afraid. You haven't learned your lesson yet, but we have.


Sincerely and with warmest regards,

Zack Parsons

** The Commentator does NOT advocate violence, just common sense and appropriate self help.

Anonymous said...

How laughable. The hard-working banker who "didn't see it coming". Let's get something straight... bankers are NOTHING MORE than used car salesmen. There job is to sell "the car", also known as "the deal", regardless of whether it's new and shiny or an old clunker. Sell it regardless of whether its a fair price or richly priced. Just sell sell sell.

Now there's nothing wrong with that per se. That's the job of the guy at the auto lot selling cars. Nobody likes him, or trusts him, but we know his job and his ways. He knows them too.

The problem with bankers is that they fancy themselves to be more. Occasional a banker is something more and he goes on to do something else (hedge fund, PE, etc.) Most do not and of those that do plenty do not succeed. Let's just agree that the banker fancies himself to be something whic he is not - a value-adding, critcal thinker who help the whole cog to achieve productivity. He most assuredly is not.

He is just a car salesman, and an overpaid one at that. Long-term success as risk manager is all about not stepping in shit. Go through all the reasons to not do a deal or take a trade and when it can't be found, then you do it. Don't step in shit!

The banker wants to do EVERY deal and EVERY trade. He is a monkey. See the book Monkey Business (which is hillllarious) which gives a simple and SPOT ON view of the life of banker-monkey.