Eliot's Eurocrat

Ok, as a response to this afternoon's request for some T S Eliot. Sorry Macavity, you mystery cat, for defaming you.

Berlusconi, the  Eurocrat.

Berlusconi is a Eurocrat: he's worse than Jacques Delors.
For he's the country leader who can defy the Law.
He's the bafflement of Europe, a democrats despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime-- Berlusconi is not there!

Berlusconi , Berlusconi , there's none like Berlusconi
He's broken economic law,  no chance of that austerity.
His powers of interpretation  would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime--Berlusconi is not there!
You may seek him in the Senate, you may look up in the air--
But I tell you once and once again, Berlusconi is not there!

Berlusconi is a Eurocrat, he's very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his banks are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly doomed;
His budget dusty from neglect, his accounts, they are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And though you think he's trustable, he's always on the take.

Berlusconi, Berlusconi, there's no one like Berlusconi
For he's a fiend in human shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him at a summit, you may think his budget square--
But when the crime's discovered, then Berlusconi is not there!

He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
His country debt's in trillions (not as we thought in yards).
And when the coffer's looted, or the treasury is rifled,
Or when the assets missing, or another bung been stifled,
Or his country's back is broken,  deficit is past repair--
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Berlusconi is not there!

And when those folk in Brussels find a Treaty's gone astray,
And the ECB  buys  BTPs to help him on his way,
The promises he's made to them have vanished into air--
But it's useless to investigate--Berlusconi is not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Germans they will say:
"It must have been Berlusconi !"--but he's a mile away.
You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of girls thumbs,
Or engaged in doing dirty things with young lady's bums.

Berlusconi, Berlusconi, there's none like Berlusconi,
Never was a Eurocrat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, or one or two to spare:
And whatever time the deed took place--BERLUSCONI WASN'T THERE!
And they say that of the Eurocrats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Papandreou and his massive unpaid loan..)
Are nothing more than agents for the Eurocrat they let
Control the southern nations, the Napoleon of debt !
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Alen Mattich
November 1, 2011 at 4:44 PM ×

Well done. Thank God I didn't ask for virgil.

November 1, 2011 at 4:47 PM ×

Given the market movement right now. I take that TMM is still sitting on their hands and waiting for tomorrow the big bang...

November 1, 2011 at 4:53 PM ×

All nice, but isn't Berlusconi the polar *opposite* of a Eurocrat?

The Original
November 1, 2011 at 4:58 PM ×

Clearly written by someone without a P/L. Those of us at the coalface prefer our Eliot a bit darker.

Mistah Mundell – he dead

50 drachmas for Solon


We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We hit the newswires
Are as cacophonous
As gale-winds through the trees
Or rats teeming through
Our sewer

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralyzed force, policy without substance;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to default’s Knife-edge
Remember us –if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.


This is the dead land
This is the cactus land
Here the video images
Are shown, here they display
The striking workforce of tax avoidance
Under the twinkle of a fading sun.

Is it like this
In death’s other kingdom
Walking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with helplessness
Trades that would miss
Form monuments to broken markets.


The ideas are not here
There are no ideas here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost union

In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And make speech
Gathered to enhance the EFSF

Sightless, unless
The ideas reappear
Recap the banks
Multibillion euros
A large Greek haircut
The only hope
Of empty men

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o’clock in the morning

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Summit

For thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
An the response
Falls the Summit

Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the impotence
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Lies the Summit

For thine is the Kingdom

For thine is
Death is
For thine is the

This is the way the euro ends
This is the way the euro ends
This is the way the euro ends
Not with a bang but a whimper

tally man
November 1, 2011 at 5:06 PM ×

cheer up lads!


November 1, 2011 at 5:26 PM ×

Blimey and it's only the first day of the month too.
Ok I got rubber gloves and dusty budgets to take away with me today.

November 1, 2011 at 7:29 PM ×

ZH has just noticed this on the MF website, I saw this myself an hour ago. "How MF Global Protects Clients Money". Hilarious. Or not, depending...

MF Global Web Site

Did Corzine do a runner yet? Perhaps this was all legal, after all, and he will be appointed as Obama's Czar on Proprietary Trading and Risk Management. He is as well qualified as Jobs Czar Jeff Immelt.

November 1, 2011 at 8:01 PM ×


I know you hedge fund types are busy but could you read this and tell me what you think? I'm starting a very different finance blog to you guys and trying to get a feel for its accuracy/amusement to those in finance!


November 1, 2011 at 8:02 PM ×

The Broker

Sitting on a P&L
Watching markets go to hell
CDS the siren song
Better than Pippa in a thong

Alpha, Delta, Vig, oh my
Stick a needle in my eye
Democracy the Alphabet
Olive oil, we'll not forget

Could have been a Doctor or an architect
But tradin paper gets respect
It's not the money that's my pleasure
It's the challenge which I endeavor

The sonnets here are proof galore
Of talents wasted forevermore
If we'd have know what we have missed
We'd more than be a little pissed

So dust off the gloves if you dare
The world is not the shape of pear
But dont forget this subtle detail
Stay in cash if you're in retail

November 1, 2011 at 8:28 PM ×

Jolly good, Corey.
Better than Pippa in a thong? Almost...

More misery tomorrow. Wizard fresh out of spells, dollar move not yet complete, commodities next on the chopping block, Italian spreads gaping wider.

Bernanke will hint at hints of QE3, but go no further. For the time being....

November 2, 2011 at 3:13 AM ×

We are in broad agreement with this commentary on the Fed. Too much inflation means no QE3, as another surge in commodities would precipitate another recession:

Fed Trapped By Inflation - No QE3 Yet

In other words, the Wizard will come out and say: "I have a load of spells here in the Book of Spells. An absolute shedload of spells. But you can't have any today. Now naff off, hobgoblins."

November 2, 2011 at 10:16 AM ×

at least Berlusconi has a good taste, his collection of ladies doesn't have a minger in it.

I didn't think the Eurobailout version n+1 was going to survive the weekend, but sadly I didn't go short EUR on friday. If you think austerity is hard to do in Greece, try Italy. Oh dear.

But What do I Know?
November 2, 2011 at 10:43 AM ×

Macro Man writes them out a verse.
A terrible beauty is born

November 2, 2011 at 2:47 PM ×

If the Times is finally raising the idea of a new drachma, is it possible this is actually a done deal? This referendum may end up being a cliff-hanger. Maybe they already have them printed?

Watch for Argentina 2001, redux....

NYT: Greece to Leave Euro?

November 2, 2011 at 4:25 PM ×

No spells today from the Wizard, some indecipherable Greenspeak, perhaps? Save the transparency for when they are actually going to do something....

November 2, 2011 at 4:35 PM ×

The Committee will continue to assess the economic outlook in light of incoming information and is prepared to employ its tools to promote a stronger economic recovery in a context of price stability.

"No QE3 until commodity prices are lower...."

November 2, 2011 at 4:53 PM ×

.........or S&P sub 1100"

November 2, 2011 at 6:17 PM ×

No arguments there, would be much the same....
A nice CRB chart, courtesy of some sharp friends:

Commodity Update Chris Kimble

November 2, 2011 at 8:09 PM ×

Today was a load of old cobblers... chasing this market is never a good idea.

... as usual on FOMC days, there is no indication from the bond markets that anything has changed at all. Crude rolled over in the middle of the day. 10y stuck at 2.00%. Non-farm payrolls the next event while the pantomime rolls on in Cannes and Athens.

In Europe, it is rapidly becoming clear that Greece is no longer the issue. Italy is now the issue, and the ability of the ECB to contain that situation. A failure to appreciate this fact in the short-term trading window will be costly.

Another mini bull trap today? Another weak jobs report (remember the 0?) and we may see recent longs purged yet again if Mr Market takes a dump into another weekend of Euro uncertainty.

November 3, 2011 at 11:10 AM ×

Any thoughts on an ECB rate cut, TMM? Not in response to Greece, but in light of declining economic data. Then there is the fact that the hike was fairly stupid in the first place, as it only exaggerated the DGDF trade and associated commodity frenzy.

Gold and silver bulls might not enjoy the subsequent dollar rally if ECB cuts...

November 3, 2011 at 12:09 PM ×

Super Mario is ready for the fireworks: