SNB's Ark

A reading from the Book of Genesis, Chapter 7, Verses 1-24:

7:1 And the European said unto SNB , Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation.
7:2 Of every clean currency thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the cash and the debt: and of currencies that are not clean by two, the cash and the debt.
7:3 Of foul peripheries also by sevens, the cash and the debt; to keep them alive upon the face of all the earth.
7:4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the speculator, forty days and forty nights; and any value in your currency that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.
7:5 And SNB did according unto all that the European commanded him.
7:6 And SNB was two hundred billion short when the flood of CHF selling was upon the earth.
7:7 And SNB went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him, into the ark, because of the flood.
7:8 Of clean currencies, and of currencies that are not clean, and of foul peripheries, and of all the debt that creepeth upon the earth,
7:9 There went in two's and ten's unto the SNB ark, the cash and the debt, as the European had commanded SNB
7:10 And it came to pass after seven days, that the flood of CHF were upon the earth.
7:11 At six hundred billion short, the SNB, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the rules of monetary policy broken up, and the taps of QE were opened.
7:12 And the rain of CHF was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.
7:13 In the selfsame day entered SNB, and Hildebrand , and Jordan, and Danthine, the sons of SNB , and SNB's wife BOJ, into the ark;
7:14 They, and every Central bank after his kind, and all the policy makers of their kind, and every creeping regulator that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every foul politician after his kind, every bid of every sort.
7:15 And they went in unto SNB into the ark, cash and debt and two of all the structures, wherein is the breath of life.
7:16 And they that went in, went in cash and debt of all ratings, as the European had commanded him: and the European shut him in.
7:17 And the flood of CHF was forty days upon the earth; and the levels increased, and bare up the Ark, and it was lift up above the earth.
7:18 And the flood of CHF prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the Ark went upon the face of the world.
7:19 And the flood of CHF prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high debts, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.
7:20 Fifteen trillion upward did the CHF prevail; and the mountains were covered.
7:21 And all debt died that moved upon the earth, both the foul periphery, of Greece and Italy and Spain, and of every creeping crisis thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every speculator.
7:22 All in whose balance sheets was the leverage of shorts, of all that was in the deflationary land, died.
7:23 And every bearish substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both hedge funds, and day traders, and the creeping blog things, and the foul bears; and they were destroyed from the earth: and SNB only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.
7:24 And the CHF prevailed upon the earth a hundred and fifty days.

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Click here for comments
September 7, 2011 at 12:02 PM ×

'C from C' says'
Amen brother ,or may I ask what is "Shipmate" in German ?

As to an insight into the future I do not know,but for entertainment value 10/10.

Perhaps this would be a good time to ask for a working definition of 'Low risk safe haven'? Indeed we can take the wiining defintion and made it the eqivalent to an Ark boarding pass.

September 7, 2011 at 12:29 PM ×

Gen 8:21: and Herr HAVENSTEIN said in his heart, I will not again curse the speculator any more for SNB's sake; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

September 7, 2011 at 12:45 PM ×

Pythagorus' Theorem: 24 words
Lord's Prayer: 66 words
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words
Ten Commandments: 179 words
Gettysburg Address: 286 words
Polemic's reading from the Book of Genesis, Chapter 7, Verses 1-24: 571 words
US Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words
US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: 7,818 words
EU regulations on the sale of Swiss cheese: 26,911 words

According to the Book of Snope, only one of these factettes is verifiable.

abee crombie
September 7, 2011 at 1:29 PM ×

do you think any of the worlds central bankers understands how the currency system really works and what are the consequences of their actions.

I'm not asking this from a gold bug view. Just purely academic. I'm sure they could be correct in their prognostications but I have a feeling what we are doing now will be written in the history books of years to come regarding currencies and central banking.

September 7, 2011 at 2:27 PM ×

For the fellas this gem from today's International Financing Review:

"Had all this happened a few years back, the SNB would now be standing there with a bloody nose and some hedgie would have made his annual P&L in a morning. But it is clear that the appetite to take on a central bank is no longer there."

"If the leveraged community no longer has either the courage or the cash to challenge the monetary authorities, they might begin to gain more credibility again."

Take that. Swishy says you limp-wristed hedgies won't pick up that gauntlet.

September 7, 2011 at 4:02 PM ×

All we need now to get people back to their posts in earnest would be some debt-sequestered peripheral announcing they'll be funding the ransom with gold sales.

Any guesses as to how little money the ECB spent today to knock 20 off right across?

September 8, 2011 at 8:08 PM ×


How exactly would that happen? How would one manage to short squeeze out of CHF an entity that has an unlimited - I repeat: UNLIMITED - supply of said CHF, at the press of a button? I'd like to know. Maybe these gurus at IFR have the answer on how to turn lead into gold too.